Mom
Thought I'd take a minute to write about my mom who I find to be such an incredible person. Maybe you to have a mom who has been there for you, has endured pain, who has stepped up and who has loved you through all of your trials and tribulations. Mine certainly has.
My mother is a combination of everything you'd ever want in a mom. First and foremost she is just a really good person as all of my friends would attest. In my youth she was the "everyones mom" of the subdivison I lived in. My father passed away rather suddenly in 1998 and she has been alone ever since. She turned 72 this year and Karoline and I have tried to ensure that she has a good life. I think she knows that I would be there for her at a moments notice if she needs me. I figure that I owe her that much after all that she has done for me.
Today she lives what I would call a cozy life in down south where she enjoys the ocean and the year around warmth.
She is the one person in my life who does not judge me. And I've made some mistakes to be sure along my journey. I have been married twice and she has never judged the women I have chosen to be with. She gave as much and probably more to my first marriage than it deserved and paid the price by being lied to and hurt good by my ex. Like any mom the end of that marriage was very difficult on her. But she did not hesitate to let go off the past and move on. When I married my second wife some twelve years later, she was even more elated because Karoline is the real deal, a no BS, kick ass wife. She is more than my partner in life. She is rock strong and as smart as they come. It took me forty years but I think I finally have given my mom someone who she can enjoy a close trusting relationship of love and respect, More than I can say for the fiasco my first marriage brought her. For that I am greatful.
Today she volunteers at a local hospital helping cancer patients who are dying to enjoy as best they can their last months, weeks or days in this world. How she endures the constant suffering, and death I can't begin to understand. I can only say from my experience with my fathers death that dying of cancer is a lonely internal demise that effects everyone in a different way. As much as my dads death took from her she strives to know every patient by name and shows them the same kindness she gave to my father as he suffered through cancer and eventually passed away. She has a story for each person that seems to live with her long after they are gone. I just don't know if I could do the same if I were in her shoes and it says volumes about her as a person.
As a grandmother she has done everything possible to guide my niece who despite divorced parents, growing up in a less than ideal environment, has managed a 4.0 grade average, is an honor student and thankfully will get some nice grants for a college education. I thank my mom for working hard at keeping her on the right track and we all expect that she will be a stellar nurse or doctor, the field she has chosen.
She was my biggest supporter when I started racing and did what ever she could to help me during those years. I can't tell you the many times she took me to a race when my father could not or just didn't want to go.
She was always giving you the thumbs up, the you can still win it, you can do anything you put your mind to. And I have to say that at 50 I am pretty happy with my life and a lot of that has to do with her. She always instilled success in us and she never let you get down.
My mom is the most non judgmental person I have met. She just likes to be part of whatever we are doing and has followed my brother (whom I stopped speaking to many years ago) and I to a variety of racetracks (all of the country) during our dirt bike racing years. ANd during the past few years as Mark and I have ran our perspective trackday ventures. Not to mention how un-believably kind she has been to my sister.
I've had two mother in laws. Thus I have gotten a chance to see what other moms that connect to you through the virtue of marriage can be like to their kids. For me one was just not nice at all, being around her was like being tortured, constantly trying to control her daughter and who did everything possible to ruin my marriage. The other is somewhat like my mom and who allows her daughter to be everything she can be without meddling in our marriage. I have learned one thing that you should do before you chance marriage, and that is to find out whether or not your potential spouses parents suck. Trust me on this. It was something I did not do well enough the first time around. I am super lucky that my current in-laws are awesome people that I enjoy being. Live and learn!
I have achieved so much more than I dreamed in my life. Twenty years ago when I was left for dead by my ex and her family after up rooting and leaving Michigan to move back to Seattle so the ex could be by her family and and after my divorce I came back to Michigan to run my fathers company and with my mom by my side we turned that into a very good time in our lives. Nothing is more challenging than working with your family and still maintaining a fun and loving relationship while making money. But we did it and it rocked. I enjoyed every minute, there was pain, there were little victories and big victories, shit days, sometimes shit weeks and through it all, up until my fathers death we stayed a team and a family.
I can honestly say that 20 or so years ago I was the last person on earth you would have envisioned working in the computer industry. I am truly more of a mechanical person having worked on helicopters and as a welder, it was my mom who really gave me the inner strength to forge through the early days of computing and the pain in the ass that it was. I am grateful and thankful for every word of inspiration she gave me while I struggled through code, through hardware failures, through Microsoft's horrible first GUI and today it has given me an awesome life and allowed me to make some awesome money.
She also had a belief in her kids throughout our lives that helped my brother and I to win some championships on bikes as well as my ventures in karting. And although there were a lot more loses than wins getting to the championship days and she just kept on believeing and inspiring us. Another thing that makes her a cool mom.
When I left Sportbike Tracktime and started my own trackday company, Trackoholics shewas the first person to encourage me to leave them and to forge ahead with my own deal. And I am glad that I did. As it turned out we had a lot of fun and made some money running our trackday company and it gave Karoline and a I something that we could work on together.
So now as we mom and I grow older and as time goes by we realize that we are nearing the end of what has been a fantastic journey. I do my best to fly down a few times a year to her place and help her out, jazz up her computer, replace sinks, plumbing, electric, you know the usual home crap that drives you crazy, always stuff that makes life a little easier. It gives me a chance to give back to her all she has sacrificed for me and to hang out with her.
I know that I can never give back all that she has given to me, but I figure that if there is a time to try, now is it!
Ironically Karoline's parents live on the opposite side of the state in Naples and it makes it hard for both of us to see each others parents at the same time. But we plan on making bringing everyone together in 2008.
This year mom and I watched the space shuttle launch from the beach, her favorite place to hang out! Man it was an awesome sight to be sure and it was cool because I can recall the first space launch when I was a kid and President Kennedy on TV telling the country about space and how it would change the world, and it did. It has given us so many technical breakthroughâs that have allowed so many things (without listing them all, I know firsthand the cool stuff in motorcycling) to be possible today. The kids of today with all of their high tech gadgets can thank that first mission for making those toys possible.
At any rate it was a great day to stand with my mom and watch the shuttle fireball disappear into the sky and know that we had both lived through these cool experiences.
I love her and hope your mom has left as lasting an impression on you that she has on me.